Thoughts

My general thoughts and musings regarding a wide variety of topics

Memories

The human brain is definitely a curious thing, we all possess one and the extent in which we make use of it differs from individual to individual. It’s a wondrous organ responsible for our cognitive thought processes allowing for logical and rational thinking in what I like to hope is most of us. Aside from being the primary driver in our sentience and a key component of what makes us each it is also one of the greatest compression and extrapolation engines around in how we process, store, and recall our memories.

Memories they are scattered throughout our minds more often than not stored as fragments in different places and over time potentially incomplete however sights and sounds can act as a trigger and we then go about reconstructing and extrapolating the missing pieces to form a more complete, if not 100% accurate recollection of our pasts. Yesterday was somewhat interesting in that regard for me as I was sitting quietly on the bus heading into the daily ritual of being a working adult in a 9-5’er just listening to my ipod and not doing a great deal of thinking for a change when my mind decides to revisit experiences and people I once knew in high school, complete with sensory recollection of some things and I am honestly unsure of the trigger in this instance; Perhaps it was just the act of a wandering mind and sitting on a bus heading towards another day on a similar route to that of school days long gone.

It’s actually somewhat scary when I look back on it. Some things feel as if they were rather recent, some feel fresh in my mind and yet all of this took place in the 90’s and over 15/16 years have passed since those days. I have grown, matured, and made mistakes but they have all contributed to what makes me who I am today. And whilst sometimes keeping my mental state in balance and sometimes I struggle to halt a slide into apathy overall I like who I have become and I don’t want to be what I have been or anything other than me. All those years ago I didn’t really have a clue what I wanted to be when I grew up (mad scientist and astronaut did feature prominently) and I never would have guessed I would be doing what I am now I still don’t really consider myself “all grown up” sure I’m an adult and overall I am not really childish in most if not all things most of the time and overall I have no real clue what I will be when I do grow up but to me it is the journey that matters.

We all have our path to walk through life, even if there is no set destination (well except death, we all end up there at some point in the future; and at least without time travel we can’t find ourselves catching up to that point accidentally before time) and although I do not really have a destination in mind it will not stop me walking the path being the eternal student and optimist. There will always be things to see and learn and I hope the day never comes that I feel I have seen or done it all. But overall when I grow up I hope to have made the world, or at least the world for some people a better and brighter place.

And I guess my lesson is to try and let go of the past, for it cannot be changed; Old man Zangetsu said it pretty well.

“Cast off your fear!
Look Forward, go forward!
Never stand still, retreat and you will age.
Hesitate and you will die”

Intuition

in·tu·i·tion (nt-shn, -ty-)
n.
1.
a. The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition. See Synonyms at reason.

b. Knowledge gained by the use of this faculty; a perceptive insight.

2. A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.


Well depending on your way of looking at things it really hasn’t been my week for ineractions with the horseless carriages of the world; Or it’s the week in which my intuition had been really making itself felt.

Last week I was walking down my street heading home from a long day at work very much lost in my thoughts looking forward to kicking back with a coffee when from the other end of the street a fellow denizen was headed off for whatever the evening had in store for them. Given that we were on opposite sides of the road I didn’t think too much of it until I had the urge to be off the road so I stepped up past the curb, about a second later the oncoming car decided my was apparently the place to be proceeding to swerve and come towards where I just was. Mistake quickly rectified and they then got back on their side of the road.

Fast forward to this evening and I’m waiting at the intersection near subiaco square to cross the road and head to the train station. The lights turn red, a few seconds later the little crosswalk dude goes green and begins his sqwark, hey it’s cool you can cross now signaling to any normal person that it’s safe to cross.

But then again I have never been normal, which is probably a good thing as I had the feeling to wait a few more seconds which meant that I was not in the middle of the road when the woman who was not there when the light turned red came flying up to and then around the corner, she must have really been in a hurry to get home.

Now the velocities they were travelling were unlikely to kill me in the event of a collision unless I was unlucky they definitely would have left me banged up with a few things broken, so I am quite thankful I can still move about under my own locomotion.

But Joel’s message to his fellow downunderin’s, we all have places to be, things we would rather be doing so please don’t let your impatience cause pain or the ultimate loss to another.

Lest we forget

Here in Australia and New Zealand it is ANZAC day, a day of remembrance for the contributions and suffering of the men and women that have served our countries in times of war and the peace keeping operations that we have undertaken. Whilst war and the loss of life is always a tragic thing it does take special people that are willing to take up arms to fight for their country, or a cause and even if we don’t necessarily agree with what our nations choose to fight for that lies on our leaders and not the men and women who made the choice to serve.

I wrote this last year, but it is just as valid for today as it will be every year. Let us remember those who have fallen, and those who choose to stand in the line of fire for the years to come.


 Though the sun may set upon old battlefields,
A sword now sheathed, no reason to wield.
To friends, and foes now long since rest,
I thank those men that gave their best.

Those that have, and are willing to serve,
Unto us you leave a memory preserved.
The scars you carry: Both outside and in,
Bring them out in the open – it is not a sin.

Those who stand, being haunted by their past,
Our future you fought for, we hope it may last.
The world this day, we stand in your debt,
Unto you we say; Lest we forget.

Winterhearted

Overall I have very eclectic taste in music and the collection that is on my iPod is a reflection of that. I find a mix of classical music is good for getting me to unwind and drift off to sleep at night. In stark contrast I also love heavier rock and metal.

A lot of the time my iPod manages to surprise me, for a long time until last year I had it permanently on a playlist of about 10% of its contents. Changed it to just shuffle awhile back and move through the entire collection and listen to everything from Gregorian monks to Metallica and alestorm.

Just got a song that hasn’t appeared as far as I can remember and whilst I vaguely recall getting their music awhile back I don’t really remember listening to it.


 

I was a fool for what I thought was love
And I tried my best to keep up what we had
We had a vision, no, I had a vision
And now I’ve to see that the vision is dead

One of us is winterhearted
One of us is cold as ice
One of us is breaking hearts
And it’s not me, not me

One of us is winterhearted
One of us is cold as ice
One of us is breaking hearts
And it’s not me, not me

I was romantic, so silly and blind
I told the world that true love had a name
But all that is left now is pity and shame

One of us is winterhearted
One of us is cold as ice
One of us is breaking hearts
And it’s not me, not me

One of us is winterhearted
One of us is cold as ice
One of us is breaking hearts
And it’s not me, not me

One of us is winterhearted
One of us is cold as ice
One of us is breaking hearts
And it’s not me, not me

One of us is winterhearted
One of us is cold as ice
One of us is breaking hearts
And it’s not me, not me

[Instrumental break]

One of us is winterhearted
One of us is cold as ice
One of us is breaking hearts
And it’s not me, not me


Yeah this song whilst only elements of it is a rather fitting tune for my emotions and thoughts over the last few weeks which I guess is somewhat understandable given what was going on in my life this time last year.

But I am also glad that I did not make the same choices to deal with them as I had in the past, and that is all that well be;  the past cannot be changed and comes with its lessons to learn and whilst feeling miserable is never pleasant it is something that can be overcome and has taught me a few lessons.

Happy hump day!

Random thought for the morning

So like most mornings during the work week I found myself awaiting the chariot to carry me off on my heroic adventure for the day (transperth bus to take me to work for the realists out there… spoilsports) there was a woman also waiting for the bus. Now in that regard I guess I am somewhat old fashioned as although I had been waiting there awhile I stepped back and let her board first.

She seemed somewhat surprised and thanked me. To me it is just a part of being polite and having good manners but I think that this is becoming increasingly more uncommon these days, however it did spurn a random thought.

Was the practice of ladies first born of a concept of chivalry, or was it something more basic and hormonal than that being the desire to look upon a ladies ass as she walks past. I had never thought of it that way before as typically I am not looking in that situation as I am being good mannered and that goes against it in that situation in my view, however in thinking about it I can understand how it could be viewed that way.

In the modern world chances are women may view it more that way. Got to love the random thoughts and ponderings in the morning as I am now quite curious.

Mmm

Today I have definitely been feeling out of sorts which was an odd contrast to the general feeling and state of mind of yesterday but sometimes you have to let go of logic and reason and follow your feet.

So this evening instead of heading straight home I just let my feet do the walking curious to see where I would end up, the answer to that being the beach and feeling much better overall.

As I sat and gazed upon the sun making it’s daily pilgrimage beneath the horizon to bring its light and a new day to the other corners of the globe I reflect and feel peace and contentment, my concious mind letting go of the angst and conflict building up within me,  first what was there to begin with then frustration over not understanding why.

The beach certainly was peaceful,  the suns rays casting their last caress out over the water, the heavy breeze coming in from out over the ocean carrying away with it all the worries of the day and finally the rhythm of the waves against the rocks as the tide slowly rises for the evening answering the call of the moon provided much needed peace,  stillness and clarity.

Basically not ignoring it or pushing it aside and just letting go and trusting my intuition I ended up exactly where I needed to be to find peace and answers to questions driving my turmoil. As much as I may be a fire sign water will always calm me down and in its rhythm I can usually find answers if I am prepared to be patient and listen.

I am glad that I am not the person I once was,  I know I would have just ignored it and it would have just continued to gnaw at me, getting worse and worse leaving me still wondering what the question I was.

I stand not because I must but because I can, I struggle and question and fight because although letting go and not caring may be simpler and easy it is not the right path for me. And that truth brings me far more happiness and peace than being a shadow ever did.

“Air and water,
Sky and sea.
Elements of nature; life and soul.
Guide me to be that which is whole..”

Tonight I am thankful for the guidance received and the ability to easily be where I needed to be and have an absolutely beautiful and peaceful place to watch the world go by and think.

Valentines Day

“To-morrow is Saint Valentine’s day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn’d his clothes,
And dupp’d the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more. “
~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5


Ah Valentines day, the day that many couples languish over for the displays and symbols of affection provided to them by their significant other and anguished over by the single around the world. February 14th, a day which to me should be like every other day for the bulk of the world unless you happen to be of the denominations that pay tribute or respect to the martyrs that held the name Valentine/Valentinus; But instead is a day like many others twisted by our modern consumerist society.

There are other days that have fallen to the same fate; their original and somewhat noble intention to pay respect to those that have raised us (Mothers Day / Fathers Day) to remember and show appreciation to those we care about that have since changed to show your <significant person> your love with <x>. Corporations seem to drive a message that in order to show that we care about someone we have to spend a reasonable amount of money and on that day or risk coming across as a grinch or not caring, and the trouble is there seems to be many people out there that buy into it and expect it on that day.

My personal opinion is you shouldn’t need a particular day to surprise someone with a gift and to be honest it typically has a much greater impact when it is a surprise to them rather than a time they expect or at least think that they have a higher chance of receiving something from you. And you sure as hell don’t need a day to tell someone how you feel about them, or that they are important to you it should be something that you re-affirm as often as you like. But if you need that particular day, or if doing something nice for your significant other seems like a chore perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your relationship.

Be spontaneous, be romantic, or just pick up the phone to say “Hey you know what? I love you” Just do it when the mood strikes not when the day dictates that you *should*

Breaking in a new deck

Breaking in a new deck is always an interesting time, especially the first spread that is cast…

In my younger years I used to read my tarot cards rather frequently however it was a habit that I had allowed to lapse 2005-12 which I restarted early last year. Whilst my current deck is nowhere near retirement it has been with me for over 15 years now and sometimes it is good to breathe some fresh air and try something new. Irrespective of their age I still try and keep them grounded and cleansed I typically keep them in a drawer as my room is somewhat more cluttered than I like and I still haven’t decided on a layout I want so for the time being the room is still in limbo.

I have actually been wanting to get some runes, well more honestly I have been wanting to make my own set however I am somewhat lazy and I went out on Friday evening for dinner and intended to just purchase a set and save myself the trouble. Given however there were none actually for sale I take that as a sign I shouldn’t actually be lazy and make my own damn set so I need to find me some consistently sized crystal for the purpose and will likely make a set as a gift whilst I am at it, kinda goes along with the increased desire to create things of late.

I didn’t want to leave empty handed and there appears to be a metric boatload of divination cards available these days which whilst somewhat of a surprise also really wasn’t I guess if something is marketable they will make them. As they had no runes or generic tarot decks I decided to go for something different and pretty much just picked the deck that seemed to have the loudest voice in this case it was Ascended Masters Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue. Have always been a supporter of learning from the past and the words of the greats that have come before us seemed somewhat fitting.

Wasn’t quite sure when I would use them however tonight was a beautiful clear night out under the stars and incredibly breezy with the wind whipping around me so it felt like the perfect time to both ground myself and the new deck and break them in. All I can say is you guys definitely have a sense of humour, couldn’t even wait for me to finish shuffling for the top card to jump out.

ascm-20140203

St Francis of Assisi was born to a wealthy Italian cloth merchant, but he later renounced his inheritance to follow an ascetic spiritual path. As he volunteered in hospitals and ministered to the sick, he gained followers who eventually became the Franciscans. Many legends speak of St. Francis’s ability to communicate with animals, and today he’s the patron saint of the environment and animals. Call upon St Francis for help in situations where your family or friends don’t understand your choices or spiritual path, or any issue involving animals.

Cards’ Message: The answer to your question is in your heart. This card signifies that you can trust your heart’s true desires, even if you can’t clearly see how the outcome will appear or manifest. This is the situation where you’re called upon  to walk in faith and be true to yourself. The universe will ensure that your needs are met and will help you with your relationship as you make life changes.

Hilarion, also known as Sain Hilarion or Master Hilarion, was a 4th century Middle Easterner who became renown for his successful healing work. Hilarion was beloved by both Christians and those who practiced the old religions. Much of his life and healing work was immortalized by Saint Jerome’s writings, which described Hilarions healing by commanding earthbound spirit attachments to leave. Call upon Hilarion for any issue involving healing or clearing of energy.

Cards’ Message: Your divine healing power has awakened and you feel compelled to help others to heal. Just as you’ve been healed, so too do you want others to enjoy health and vitality. You’re supported in making life changes so that you can continue to heal yourself and others. Let go of any fears or restrictive thinking to fully open the miracles of healing.

Serapis Bey is an Egyptian god of ascension and a bridge between Heaven and Earth. He’s the ultimate life coach who motivates people to take good care of themselves physically, spiritually and emotionally. Call upon Serapis Bey whenever you need additional energy and motivation to take action.

Cards’ Message: It is time for you to go; Either away from a toxic situation or towards something desirable. This card signals that it’s the right time to make your move. The conditions and timing are perfect and the universe is poised to support your move.
(No information about reversed cards, assuming like most it should be interpreted as the inverse to the above aka don’t make a move)

The prophet Moses displayed courage and leadership throughout his lifetime. His clear decrees about his intentions led to miracles such as the parting of the Red Sea, bringing forth water from a boulder, and manifesting manna from Heaven. Moses is a powerful, beloved, and inspiring leader who can lend you courage in this situation and your life’s purpose.

Cards’ Message: You have the power to heal and alter the course of this situation. It’s time for you to take charge and assume a leadership position. First decide what you want. Be clear about the conditions that are acceptable or unacceptable to you. The universe responds when you’re clear about your aims and intentions. The ascended masters will support your leadership role so talk openly and honestly about your feelings and give yourself permission to do what you know is right.

VLAD (Vicious Lawless Association Disestablishment)

I know states are able to set their own laws and they are valid until challenged in a higher court (case in point gay marriage in ACT which got overturned when challenged by the government)

The Queensland VLAD (Vicious Lawless Association Disestablishment) Bill whilst rather popular also sets an incredibly dangerous precedent and given that my own state is looking to bring in something similar I am concerned and surprised that this has yet to be challenged in a higher court of law.

Whilst I am a law abiding citizen and would fall into the realms of having nothing to fear as touted by this government once upon a time I actually would have. A guy I worked for did house designs for members of a bikie organisaiton (actually pretty good blokes). Now if I went out for a beer with them and there happened to be another member I would find myself arrested and placed in solitary confinement without bail until such point I was tried which I would hopefully be found not guilty but I would be basically branded as dangerous and deprived of my liberty until that point.

Australia is a signatory to the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights of which one key point was the freedom of association.

This law basically controls who is able to associate with whom and where, whilst I know we do not have guaranteed liberties and freedoms in our constitution (most are implied under common law) this does place us against the declaration we are a signatory for.

Given all our effort to get on the security council you would think that we would want to conform overall with the mandates set by the UN, however this and our recent being found guilty of 150 violations of our treatment of asylum seekers I guess not.

We should just start trading with North Korea, about the only real Fuck You we have left.

The metamorphosis that is life

This last week or so I have really been looking back over the choices that I have made throughout my life, the factors that contributed to those choices as well as the things that I enjoy and choose to do with my time; Throughout the 2005-2010 period my choices were always pretty much the same and driven by the same theme. I really hated everything about myself and instead of trying to understand that and work through the reasons and causes which seemed like an impossible undertaking at the time I instead ran from that and pretty much everything I did was a form of escapism in trying not to deal with things.

Thankfully that period of my life ended and I have gone through a lot of changes these last 4 years which was kind of driven home in the parting of the ways speech by Matt Smith in The Time of the Doctor. A lot of religions and spiritual teachings have a concept of reincarnation, the journey of the soul, lessons and growth however it also holds true in each individual lifetime as well. There are lessons to be learnt and if we are always exactly the same we become stagnant.

“It all just disappears doesn’t it? Everything you are, gone in a moment like breath on a mirror.
Any moment now, he’s a coming, The Doctor and I always will be. But times change and so must I. We all change, when you think about it.
We are all different people all through our lives and that’s okay, that’s good you’ve got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.
I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when The Doctor was me…” ~ Matt Smith

As we move through our lives it is important to remember the things that have gotten us to where we are today; There will always be things that we do not like but instead of being bogged down by them simply make a change. The last few years have certainly been filled with change for me mostly internally with my interests and likes; I recognize my previous escapist based behavior and I try to take steps to not allow it to resurface within myself which has led to a change in interests. Where I could throw all my time at video games in the past and become lost / enjoy the stories and content of them these days I have virtually no interest and whilst I do still game occasionally as it is good to have a mundane and relatively mindless distraction I don’t let it get anywhere near the levels that they used to with almost all my time outside of work spent playing something.

A lot of my interests and hobbies and things that I like have been re-aligning with how I used to be when I was younger, more myself and considerably more happy which is a good thing however like everything else in life there is also some changes. Creativity and expression seem to be taking a greater forefront in my interests of late aside from writing more I feel like trying to draw things which I attempted once a long time ago and was never very good at it which makes the push somewhat interesting to me and although I have been putting off attempting to draw anything I at least have my photography to express and paint a picture and think I might give digital manipulation / art a go first.

But to work with this interest I have found myself looking more and more at the artwork of others and have even been purchasing pieces of late which I plan to frame and put up on my walls to go with my collection of blades and dragons. This for me accomplishes a couple of things, it satisfies my desire for art, supports the creativity of others who are incredibly skilled and deserve recognition and helps them make a living with their art and I get to look at and discover some really cool stuff.

But as times and we ourselves change it is important to remember the things, people, events, beliefs that have shaped our past and helped make us who we are today and guide us in the decisions we make for who we wish to be in the future. Like glass on a mirror our lives in this world are fleeting and it is up to each of us to make the most of them, and in mine as much as some things are changed being there for others, questioning and continuing to learn things will always be a core part of who I am.

Will share the artwork I have been purchasing when the rest of it arrives and I have it all framed up. Where once I would look at art and perhaps go yeah that is cool I find I have tastes now and they seem quite varied 🙂

Have a great day everybody.